The other day I decided to be a FANTASTIC Mommy and take my kids to the park for a picnic! Now, for me, a picnic means that we get take out and sit at the park and eat. I am not about to pack a lunch and eat it at the park. Picnics are supposed to be fun not work right????
I get to the park with Taco Bell in hand and a few sodas (I really do not give my kids soda except every once in a while but this was one of those what the hell days). At the table next to me is a mom that has made her kids pasta salad, chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, and what looked to be homemade cookies (not to mention the the chocolate milk in an insulated thermos). This B even brought REAL plates and silverware. Okay now I feel like crappy poo as I am porking down my yummy chicken burrito and Diet Pepsi.
After we choke down our burritos and soda we go to play. The kids are having a fantastic time and I am playing right along side them sliding down the slide and playing tic-tac-toe. I spy, out of the corner on my eye, mom of the year sanitizing her kids hands and heading over to the playground area. Right before the kids get onto the equipment she reads the rules sign (for real the rules sign that is up in every park) and they discuss the rules. Not only does she do that but she also sprays her kids down with sunscreen. Yep I feel like crap now.......
Mom of the year even goes to the extent of singing the ABC's while sliding, counting to 100 while swinging, and singing every annoying song in the book. Mom of the year is having a good ole time.... I decide that I have had enough and it is nap time so I load up the kids to go home. With a little bit of whining my kids get to the car and all strapped in. I of course see that mom of the year is leaving as well so I watch to see what marvelous thing she does when leaving. With the windows down and pretending to look for something in my car I hear her oldest child, probably four, yell, "NO NO NO I NO GO HOME." If in her position I would have grabbed my kids that was screaming and walk them to the car but no not mom of the year. She bends down to whispers in the kids ear and............
The kids slaps the poo out of her and calls her a B**CH!!!
Moral of the story: You might think you are better than everybody else with your fancy picnic and games but even you kid knows you are a show off B!!!!!! HAHAHA!
By the way if you are like the Mom in the park.....Sorry!